Tuesday, August 3, 2010

What we have been up to...

We have settled into a nice routine in Boston and I can honestly say it has been a really good time. We will start making our way back home sometime this week. We are ready to head home. They are good travellers. Our car trips (the long ones) are generally smooth unless they just aren't. Then they are hellish. Our original plan was to visit friends in CT, NYC, NJ, MD, D.C. and GA on the return trip. Some of that hinges on how long we stop in NJ to see C.'s family and how well the kids do. We probably won't be able to make the D.C. and Maryland stops since C. has a work commitment next week. The kids are starting to show signs of anxiety and sadness about leaving. I don't know what kind of parents actually enjoy seeing their kids be sad but I think some of you will understand when I say I am thrilled to see them be sad about leaving people here. These are new and genuine expressions of connectedness to family and friends here especially from the two oldest and I am cherishing them (not the accompanying behaviors but I can't have everything I want...) We have had some good talks about these new feelings.

We have had some good moments that I haven't had a chance to write about which have me it a special and wonderful summer. We have seen and spent good times with our dearest friends and had genuine quality time with them. It has been very satisfying and thus leaving is more difficult too.We have celebrated two birthdays and if we stay any longer it will be four birthdays! My sister and niece spent their first time on the East Coast with us and we had a wonderful time being "tourists."  We can call ourselves Indigo Girls' "groupies" having now seen them in both Austin and Massachusetts during their current concert tour!

We have also had some bumps. No visit with the boys' mother. I have made many, many attempts to schedule a meeting and we have been stood up. Now her phone is not working. I am sad that we won't make the visit especially because Tortuga will be very disappointed. We had two visits with Corazon's mother who is having a hard time these days but who was very thoughtful especially to Tortuga. (I have been working on a whole post about the visits with Corazon's mother and Tortuga's near rage response to that.) We have seen some slippage in Tortuga's progress over the past several months but the true test will be when we return. He is mouthy and rude to me, questioning all of my decisions, challenging my authority, and refusing to cooperate. Since this has increased with C.'s departure and Corazon's visits with her mother I am thinking it is related to the changes and increased anxiety but we shall see.

Our travels these past few weeks took us to CT, RI, NH, upstate NY, Maine and VT. The high point was getting a chance to visit with The Other Mother and Mama Drama x2!

The kids had "fancy" pizza, played in the water, got pushed on the swings by The Other Mother, and had a grand time as we "closed down the park!" We talked and talked and it was wonderful to be with folks who not only "get it" but who are so gracious and wonderful to be with. As I said to Mama Drama sometimes it is often her blog that brings a smile to my face on those days where I wonder if I can keep going without losing my sanity! As much as I love her blog it was even better meeting in person. There's nothing like the feeling of being with people who don't miss a beat as you navigate the tricky waters of traumatized kids having too much fun while feeling unsupervised. The kids held it together nicely except for Tortuga who melted down almost immediately after we got in the car after saying goodbye to these wonderful women! Corazon was over the top having met one of her blog readers "Mama Drama" which I believe is the only name she remembers and getting some wonderful book recommendations from The Other Mother. She can't remember what I asked her to do 10 minutes ago but she does remember the books she referenced!

We are both looking forward to hosting them on their Fall visit to Texas!!!


Ashley said...

So glad you're having a good time!!!

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Indigo Girls, TWICE? Wow. With 4 kids,veven! We are impressed. We truly enjoyed our visit with your family. The countdown to Texas has begun!

The Other Mother said...

It was really great seeing you all as well. You have perfectly wonderful, charming children. Looking forward to TX.

Bryna said...

Glad you got to have such a wonderful adventure, but sad for Tortuga... Can't imagine what that's like seeing Corazon have visits and not having them himself. I have been thinking a lot about what it will be like when we have another foster child whose situation is entirely different than "Big Guy's" situation and the way it will make each child feel.

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