Monday, May 31, 2010

If it weren't for these moments....

Life is challenging right now but to be expected. Corazon hasn't consistently stayed regulated over the past few days suggesting she is keeping some "secret" that I haven't uncovered. She usually has a very hard time these days when she gets away with something she isn't supposed to do and I don't guess what it is. Where are those mind-reading abilities when I really need them. We tried to go swimming with all the kids yesterday but it really felt like I was monitoring the penalty box at an ice hockey game. I finally pulled her out because she was basically stalking strangers. Male strangers. I don't have time to write more about that one but that is becoming my current concern with her.  In her good moments she is actually so much more like a "normal" kid but we have some humps to overcome. We did have a great "girls' night out" on Saturday. C. & I took Corazon and Milagro to an Indigo Girls concert which Corazon missed last year because of this behavior. I was so happy she didn't miss it this year. We were out well past midnight with no behavior or attitude problems. Of course, we did get payback from the boys...

Tortuga was mad that she got to go out and he didn't. On top of his generally difficult reentry from his time with his grandparents it continues to be a difficult time. He is still "showering" me with payback.. e.g. pee in the wrong places. He is "forgetting" his routines. Expectations have gone out the window. New tics have shown up since the earache so he moves like Frank*nstein but "nothing's wrong." He is bullying the other kids, being rude, telling them what to do, tattling on them even when he isn't around them but he just "thinks" they might be doing something "wrong." He is impatient, rude, and downright mean to me these days. I am sure I did something wrong. The other day he decided he was no longer going to say "goodnight" to me. Ok.

Pollito seems to be doing better. He is still engaging in some challenging copycat behavior but most of the time it seems pretty normal for a five year old. We had some one-on-one time today because he wanted to go grocery shopping with me. He is beginning to ask questions about his birth story and adoption. While we have told the stories many times they haven't really seemed to register until recently. So we walked around the supermarket with me telling the stories over and over again and he seemed to get more of it today. I have to put more effort into getting his lifebook finished this summer. He is ready for it now.

Milagro is her usual happy self. Last night she got mad at me because she wanted me to read her a book that she knows by heart (the 6th or 7th book of the night) and I told her she should read it to herself. She plopped herself right next to me and pulled the book onto her lap and said "but I CAN'T READ!" Then she opened it up and flipped through the pages saying "blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah. Blah, blah. .... blah. blah. Blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah. Blah......." Then she said "See! I can't read!!!!" What a stinker! Normally she can recite the whole story by memory but I guess she had a point to prove.

I am participating in Christine's Attachment Challenge. It has been challenging with some of the kids and easier with the others. Tortuga and I already have a "regular" routine of doing attachment building activities but this has helped me stay more focused and "fresh" and while I am not feeling the love from him right now I know it is a good thing. The little ones have been easy but the two older ones are in fine form (not a good thing) so it makes getting to ten hugs each day a bit more challenging. Today I decided to hug Tortuga every time he made a face at me, was rude, impatient, or just plain mean. I got 16 hugs in!!!!! Of course, a part of me felt like I was reinforcing negative behavior but the confused look on his face was amusing. :P

6 comments:

Lisa said...

The signs of development of a conscience when they have a secret... J has had the same problem the past couple of days. I discovered the secret and now we've got to address it. It's going to be *cough* interesting *cough*.

GB's Mom said...

What a great way to get in your quota of hugs!

BT said...

I am so jealous of the Indigo Girls concert -- my favourite band! Hope it was great.

Keep up your hard work. Your kids ARE healing despite the periodic setbacks.

Mama Drama Times Two said...

I had to laugh at "monitoring the penalty box at an ice hockey game" - Lately, I feel like I am chaperoning a bad field trip... I do like how you shook things up with WHEN you chose to hug. Keep 'em guessing!

Jennie said...

Sissy bold faced lied to me and I used as an opportunity to hug the stuffing out of her.

J. said...

oi, what a week you are having but I know how much worse it could be - I should bite my tongue and not say that aloud!

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