Me that is. Except for my throat being pretty raw I am back to my usual self. I think it is terrible that sometimes the only way we get a break is to get sick (and then it doesn't feel like much of a break.) It's the only time I get to ignore the daily kid drama and can generally trust that they are being kept safe. Milagro continued to be my lovely care-taker throughout my stint on the couch. She brought me popsicles, toys, books (which she "read" to me), tucked me in and seemed to take it upon herself to escort me to the bathroom anytime she caught me getting up. A few times I snuck past her but then was subjected to her banging on the door with a "you ok mom?" or a "need help?" It was absolutely priceless. We tried to keep her away since she had just gotten over her own bout with some bug and she complained that she "missed" me from the next room. So nice to be loved unconditionally.
Pollito was "worried" which was the first time I have noticed this from him. He asked each time he saw me if I was better and he announced that he wanted me to BE better NOW. He also was my self appointed "sleep-watcher" which meant he waited for me to fall asleep and then he would go and whisper loudly (he can't whisper to save his life!) to each person that I was sleeping and of course, wake me up in the process. Corazon wanted to be next to me the entire time (she is clearly my anxiously attached child) and acted up significantly the entire time. Tortuga (because we told him NOT to) wanted to give me a big hug and kiss each time he saw me. Gotta love ODD! He is testing and being tested mightily by all this holiday stuff but it is still better than last year.
Yesterday I was well enough to meet with Corazon's coaches at the gym. They want to move her up a level--more competitive, more practice time, more money--which is great. They don't want us to tell her because most of the girls on her level are NOT ready to move up and they want to announce the moves in another two weeks. She will be so very proud of herself and she has earned this. Her maturity and discipline is so clear. I continue to believe this saved our lives. For a kid so focused on control and controlling her body's functions gymnastics proved to be a very good way for her to channel her energy. I notice when she is most dysregulated she starts to practice beam and floor routines and it seems to calm her down. Anyone with an athletic RAD kid should look into some of these sports that require lots of physical and mental control/energy (ice skating, ballet and gymnastics for her.) We plan on getting a special dessert to celebrate this with her as soon as we know when it will be announced.
I was also well enough to run to my favorite (not) big store for essentials--cat litter, cat food, paper towels, etc--. I had to take all 4 kid and it did not go well for Tortuga in terms of his ability to control he hyperfocus and targetting of Corazon. We almost had a big scene right there in the store BUT he held it together. I was furious and proud at the same time which I didn't know was possible! I got us out of there before we finished our trip and waited until we got home to deal with it. I told him how well he did and how far he had come and he took responsibility. It was great. He was pretty down the rest of the evening and didn't eat much for dinner and a part of me thinks he was sad and just sitting with it. We have been trying to work on teaching him about "sitting" with anger, sadness, and loneliness without needing to lash out. I will try to find out what was going on when we talk more today.
So this is life right now. Holding steady with escalating craziness but it's to be expected. This is our life.