We have had some really good and bad days with Tortuga over the past month. This week is particularly challenging. I can see how hard he is working both to control himself and to work himself up. That is the tension for him. It has resulted in RAD-h*ll for us here at a time when C. had to travel for work all week. That probably is contributing to his disregulation since today in the middle of one of his meltdowns he screamed "I can run away easy because Mama's not here!" He also screamed that he wanted to go live in foster care, that I should call the police because they would arrest me for being a bad mother, that he hated me and he meant it this time, and of course, the all-time favorite that I should leave him alone! I am sure part of what is going on for him is also the great time he had on Sunday. It usually happens after a really good time. He is so much more comfortable being "miserable." It is more familiar. I am trying to look for the healing that I know is going on here and remembering that his rages are few and far between and have mostly been replaced by shorter meltdowns. I will write more about this later when I am ready.
In the meantime, I guest blogged for the first time today over at Life in the Grateful House. Lisa asked me and I couldn't say no. My daughter Corazon will be posting over there today and I think I will do one more post on her blog on Friday.