Boys' adoption story continued.
The boys' social worker, Selma, along with my social worker Gilda and the supervisor, Lisette coordinated to find the earliest possible date for a disclosure meeting. Coincidentally, all the social services players were the same as in Corazon's case. Even their birth mom's social worker, Daphne, was the same so it lent an air of familiarity and I believe greater trust during the disclosure meeting. There were lots of "flags" in the boys' files and at times one person was trying to convince me that they were too much for me to handle and another was sure I would be the best thing to come into their lives. The older boy, Tortuga, was 7 1/2 years old and had been in early intervention programs since he was three. His speech was difficult to understand, he was "aggressive" towards the younger brother, had threatened to kill himself several times, and was cognitively delayed but there were few specifics about that. He also had 14 diagnoses ranging from PTSD to RAD/ODD to Tourette's, Bi-polar, and Depression. ADHD was also thrown in for good measure. Lastly, he tended to "freak out" if anyone touched him. While there were many labels there was a shortness on supporting details. The younger brother was small for his age, had a vocabulary of less than 10 words/sounds and was suspected of having FASD. I sat through the meeting trying to figure out what I would be getting myself into and wondering if I was capable of serving these kids. Their next step was to separate them in order to give them a better chance of finding homes soon.
C. and I went home with all the paperwork they had available and I requested several materials that they didn't have including IEPs (Individualized Education Plan) for Tortuga, speech and OT reports for Pollito, more detailed medical records for Pollito, and any psychological information about their birth parents. (They had information about 6 other siblings ranging in age from 9-18 who had been in foster care and some had mental health issues so I wanted more details.) On the ride home C. and I discussed the boys and discovered that we were already talking about them as if they were joining our family. Neither of us expressed strong hesitations or concerns about our desire to meet them. We still needed to talk to my social worker about updating my homestudy to include C. but we had one other complication. We had been discussing the possibility of C. having a baby and C. had just completed the second round of inseminations with the hope of becoming pregnant. Should we stop? Should we continue? Should we postpone this process until we learned more about the boys?