Friday, June 12, 2009

Anxiety?

It has been an interesting few days. Milagro LOVES being with her grandparents and is particularly enamoured with their swimming pool. She has quickly added "I s(w)im," "I go s(w)imming," "S(w)im you, me" and "S(w)im agua now peeez(please)" to her language explosion. She is like a fish. No fear. Put her in one of those floating donuts and she paddles and kicks her way across the entire shallow end of the pool. She is so much fun to watch.


Pollito is also doing ok so far. We were the most anxious for him to make this return trip and the most concerned about how he would take it. He is showing some anxiety which looks like tantrums, crying, incessant talking/chattering nonsense and generally not doing what he is told to do. It increases when my attention is diverted so he will be playing nicely by himself or with Milagro and as soon as I start talking with anyone he gets loud, interrupts, cries, fights or does whatever it takes to get my attention. He is the one that has missed our home in Boston the most. The first four or five months he was literally pining for Boston. He talked of missing his room (he hated it when we lived there), his house, his yard, his babysitter and our friends. After the November/December holidays he really wanted to come to PA to visit with his grandparents and talked constantly of coming here. He is a bit confused about where home is so now he talks about going home to Boston and calls our Texas home our "old house." We will see what happens as we get to Boston. So, he is being pretty predictable and relatively manageable although annoying at times. He is happiest in the pool as well so we have obliged pretty much daily.

Tortuga is also quite happy to be with his grandparents. He enjoys the attention of his grandpa especially but every time he gets individual attention we have a grumpy kid to deal with afterwards. He gets moody, rude, disrespectful and just plain defiant once he has had any attention from an adult. It makes it challenging to let him go on walks with his grandpa or grandma because he is definitely a goner after that. All in all though he is managing ok as long as we can keep his grandparents "in check." He is also a quirky kid. He wanted to know if we would start homeschooling while on the trip and I asked if he wanted that and he said "yes." Since Corazon is doing these online bookclubs I went ahead and brought some work for him. Everytime I assign him something to do in the workbook he thanks me and declares that work is his favorite. Go figure.

Corazon is a special case. I am not sure what is going on with her. She has had moments of really good behavior but the past three days she did almost nothing beyond eat, sleep and use the bathroom because she cannot get her behavior under control. She did some damage to her grandparents' carpet and then covered it up. WHen she got caught we told her she needed to write an apology and the assigned her 40 sentences to help her remember to change certain behaviors around impulse control and sneaking. You would have thought we assigned a dissertation. She took 3 WHOLE days to complete those two tasks thus she missed swimming, eating out, walks with grandparents, movies (3 videos/3 nights.) I am wondering if there is too much anxiety bottled up in there. Even tapping was a major battle and didn't really seem to help. It may just be too much change and too much activity. School was crazy those last couple of weeks, then her teacher resigned, we pulled her out of school early, we drove cross country, are now at one of her favorite places and then there is the anticipation of going to Boston. It may just be too much for her. Either way she has been royally challenging and I feel so bad for her. I tried baby time, cuddling, having her work right next to me, etc. and all to no avail but she seemed to be ok after she finished the last of the sentences this morning.

We will be here another day and a half and then move on to New York to visit with my college roommate. Corazon is great friends with her girls who visited us back in February so I know this will either be great or an even greater disaster. We shall see. I am excited to see my friend and for the kids to get together as we make our way to Boston.

3 comments:

Lisa said...

Wishing I had some helpful information.

Be safe on your trip to
Boston. Please try and see if y'all can make a little dip to Georgia on your way home.

Hugs!

ldw said...

Awwww MAN! as my AE would say...you are NOT on a vacation, you are on a traveling hell. It's bad enough in the comfort of your own home without adding all the "extras" of driving, family, and well...being out of the comfort of your home. Thinking of you and hoping things improve. Think of this as....intensive RAD mom training??

Dia por Dia said...

Yeah. I am thinking they are just warning me about getting too comfortable around here with the RAD thing. I really think I have to step up the bonding stuff with Pollito. Can hardly wait til we meet with birth families over the next two weeks! Fun, fun, fun.... I have to remind myself I planned this trip.... :)

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