Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Ups and Downs and Ups and Downs and...

We are maintaining around here. Some small ups and downs and some big swings upward and swing downwards so it feels like a typical RAD rollercoaster ride. Corazon did something she hadn't done in a long time about a week ago. She got two large candy bars from an older classmate with the promise that she would pay her for them the next day. After 4 days of trying to "find" the money at home (i.e. my purse, piggy banks, car, etc.) she resorted to telling C. at dropoff that her teacher needed money from every student. Being the mistrustful discerning parents that we are it was clear there was more to that story. After emails and phone calls with the teacher we were able to uncover a whole web of lies and behaviors involving sneaking, lying, and stealing. It has been a long while since she has concocted such an elaborate web and clearly she is anxious about something. These behaviors have also been on the upswing at home over the last month or so. I think school is too much for her. I think she feels unsafe and still thinks she needs me to help her do what she is supposed to do. I am noticing that even for small things the lying is back. It is her default response and she isn't "working" on telling the truth right now. As much as I hate to admit it she just isn't ready to go back to regular school (even a small one with only 11 girls in her class.) She can't negotiate the social stuff and it's not fair for me to expect her to. So, I think I am quickly reaching the conclusion that she is going to have to be homeschooled again next year. I enjoy working with her but it means I can't go back to work as I was hoping to and financially that's a big deal for us as a family.

Tortuga is having the same ups and downs. His are less extreme than they have been in the past but still present and unpredictable. I continue to be the target of his disrespect, anger, and violence. It angers him that he can't get a rise out of me no matter what he tries. School has been bad too. The teachers have him on a "behavior contract" for his constant impulse control issues, talking out, interrupting, wandering about the classroom and bugging people. In the past month he has averaged 1 or 2 good/ok days each week which basically means he engaged in these behaviors only 10-12 times each day! For being a "zero tolerance" school system in so many ways this just seems like way too many chances. I tried to get them to limit this more but they don't get it. In the meantime, we are hearing more about his aggression towards girls especially the smaller ones. He is definitely a bully at school. We have one more thing creeping up and that is he is working up to "running away." This weekend he made it out the door and down the street right before dark. It was over something somewhat minor (bad manners at the table) that he escalated by giving me "the finger" with both hands and then laughing when he thought I didn't notice. I thanked him for showing me how he felt at the moment without using words since we are working on him not talking while I am giving him directions. He bolted. Earned him early bedtime, alternate dinner (oatmeal this time) instead of one of his favorites. Also, he has announced that he thinks he will get"better" if I homeschool him. He is right. The important question is can I survive homeschooling the two of them?

Pollito is the one weighing on my mind these days but that is another post. I may need those moms with 4-6 year olds (RAD and not) to chime in as I formulate a plan for helping him.

As for Milagro. She is cute as ever and a constant reminder to me of what my other kids missed out on and what healthy attachment looks like. We are in the thick of a "language explosion" around here since this past week with this independent little 20 month old. Her newest trick is putting together longer phrases and sentences (yes, full sentences!) Her current favorites are:

"Mine! Mine! Mine. ... Thank You!"
"Over here."
"Over there."
"Where's Mami? Where's Mom?"
"Agua fell down."
"I need my shoes."
"Birding fy down."
"Get my book."
"Yaya (Corazon) no go skoooooool!"
"Come down mami!"

You're probably not as excited as I am but given all the speech/language issues around here these past few years (and still), I am totally impressed.

1 comment:

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I tell you, the amount of talking Teena does is unbelievable. It. never. stops. and it all starts like this: Mamma...Mamma..MAMMA

I was just thinking how excited we were when she started talking. It is just so cool when they put together their own little thoughts!

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed