Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Getting extra rest.

I have been sick for the past 4 days with temperatures ranging from 100-103. I always get a high fever when I am sick. My mom jokes that as a kid if I had a hangnail I would get a fever. If I ate something I didn't like, I would get a fever. So fevers don't bother me too much usually because I know it means my body is fighting something and they usually last no more than a day or two. This time I haven't been so lucky. My throat is raw, I am congested, and the chills overtake me so suddenly that I have to dive for the covers. Of course, my timing couldn't be better. Being the considerate mom and partner that I am I waited to get sick until C. and the kids were all home for Spring Break. That means C. has had to take over much of the household and kid duties. I do 95% of these so it is a big deal when she has to. C. is not happy and neither are the kids. I, on the other hand, am enjoying the extra rest and really don't mind a break from the cooking, cleaning, laundry, mediating, refereeing, etc. That is, when I am actually conscious.

Corazon feels my absence from the daily fray the most. She has made me several cards and every time I emerge from the bedroom she is right there to hug me and ask me if I am feeling better. It is very sweet. I remember when she didn't seem to notice if I was around or not. She certainly never noticed when I was sick. This is the kid that used to laugh hysterically whenever she saw me in pain or hurt. Until recently she never got sick. This really must be a RAD thing. They cannot allow themselves to be that vulnerable. This year Corazon has caught two really bad colds. In the 4 years since we have had her she had never been sick before this year. I wonder if we can correlate attachment progress and healing for RAD kids based on how much they get sick? If so, the Corazon is definitely making progress. We have had some short but significant exchanges over the past couple of days because with my absence she is struggling to hold it together. She has lost reading privileges for lying and sneaking and she lost outside playing time with her neighborhood friend for today also for lying and sneaking. Yesterday Tortuga got to play with Corazon's friend instead and usually this would set her off but she handled it really well. When I asked her what she thought of him playing with her friend she told me "he earned it mom and I haven't shown I can handle it." I thought that was very mature of her. Today I asked her why she was playing inside when all the other kids were playing outside. I already knew from C. that she had been disruptive outside, bowling over the little kids as they played on their tricycles and slide, bossing them around, taking things away from them, etc. She told me she was "having a hard time being a responsible big sister" and that she couldn't "control" herself. I asked if she knew why that was and she said she didn't. I suggested she practice patience (strong sitting) and she declared she already had done that several times but it "wasn't working today." I then asked her what she thought she should do and she said she was going to work on playing with quiet things to try and help herself. I told her I was proud of her recognizing that she was having a hard time and that I could see she was working hard to hold it together. Good for her!
Edited: I added one of the drawings Corazon has made for me over the past 4 days.


Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Interesting about the not getting sick. I wonder, because we had the same thing going on, until this past October. Genea came to us with adrenal insufficiency, basically she had burned out her bodies ability to produce cortisol. Personally I think it was caused by years of hypervigilance and wailing unending fits of fear. She had a medic alert bracelet, meds, injections, and a complex schedule of when to administer which.
In my long winded way, I think in the beginning these kids are burning so much fight or flight stress hormone, adrenaline, cortisol, etc that their little bodies wind up with a wall against colds, flu, etc. It is survival, if that makes sense. Of course, it is a horrible way to live and unhealthy in its own way.
Anyway, hope you get better, well not TOO soon.

Tracey said...

I say you should enjoy your rest! Read, sleep, watch tv, drink lots of liquids... that sounds like a perfect day to me. There's nothing like being out of commission for a bit to get your family to notice you!

Alyssa's Mom said...

You hit the nail on the head with our kids getting sick.

We had Alyssa for 2 years before she got sick. It came right after a major breakthrough in her attachment therapy.

There definitely is a connection.

Torina said...

Yep, besides forcing herself to throw up on me, Tara didn't get sick for reals for about two years and her foster family that had her for 2.5 yrs said she never got sick unless she was faking it and they would just let her do that because she hardly even did that either. I do think it is a RAD thing. My boys are sick just like any other kid and one of them is on the milder spectrum of the RAD scale. I hope you feel better soon!!

Dia por Dia said...

Still working on getting better but at least now my eyes don't water every time I look at a computer or TV screen! My older son has only been sick once in 2 years and it was conjuctivitis so I am not sure that counts. The littler ones get sick in more normal ways and people think I am nuts when I say I am happy they get sick! Isn't it great that we can create these really scientific ways to tell our kids with RAD are getting better!

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