Monday, June 23, 2008

Gay Marriage in California

How incredible to be living in this day and age--history being made. First Massachusetts and now California have legalized same-sex marriages and California seems to pave the way for a national movement! Let's hope.
My children will grow up believing that people get married to whomever they love without realizing just how new this idea of women marrying women and men marrying men really is. Hopefully by the time they reach adulthood all states will allow gay marriage but the fact that their moms were married (in MA) when they were children will always link them to this history in the making.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Sinking in...

"We pack all our stuff. We get in the car. We move to a big house. Mom said we put all our stuff in a very, very, very, very, very, very, big f_uck."
--Pollito telling his grandpa about the upcoming move.

His speech and language have grown by leaps and bounds in the last 6 months or so but then there are these priceless gems. Despite our attempts to teach him the "tr" sound, "truck" still sounds like "fuck." Nonetheless we are hearing the excitement and anticipation in his voice as he works to understand the upcoming move. We also sense his anxiety and trepidation as he also asks whether we will stay here instead or whether we will come back after we move. I realized I didn't finish discussing how they all responded to the new yesterday. Tortuga asked a few questions but then burst into tears at the thought that we were not taking one of the five cats because our housemate downstairs is keeping her for company. She (the cat) is the alpha cat and causes much confusion for the boy cats around the litter box (our alpha male died 3 years ago) so one positive outcome might be the demise of those challenges. Tortuga and Corazon also realized our housemate is staying here and that led to fresh tears. Milagro has developed a healthy attachment to all her older siblings and while she cannot understand what is happening she registered Corazon's tears with distress of her own. She reached over to console her and hug her (including patting her on the back) and when that didn't stop Corazon's tears she burst into loud wails of her own!

All in all the news went over really well although we anticipate many ups and downs in the month to come!

Friday, June 20, 2008

We didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

C. came home ready to relocate. One of those days at work when it seems everyone has too much time on their hands and not enough work to do so they actually have time to create "issues." I don't miss that about my work. I have simply been too busy with the planning of our cross-country move to worry about that which I cannot control, explain, understand, or do anything about. That brings me to breaking the news to the children. Our older ones don't do well with too much information ahead of time. We usually give almost no prep time or information about upcoming plans (whether shopping or 8 hour drive to visit family) because they find a way to mess things about especially if it is something they look forward to. We knew we would have to tell them with some notice about the move to the Southwest but we hadn't completely decided when. The opportunity came up tonight and we went for it. We lined up the kids (weird but best way to convey seriousness of the talk and keep them from "bumping" into each other) and announced a family meeting. As anticipated, the announcement was a major hit. They LOVED the idea of the move, being near cousins and aunts/uncles/grandma, new schools, bigger house, etc. When I let them make comments or questions, Tortuga asked about whether he would attend a new school (I repeated that we had mentioned that as a major reason for the move) and then suddenly Corazon burst into tears! She dove into my lap for comfort and through her tears wailed the name of her best (and only) friend. C. and I looked at each other, smiled, and marvelled at this massive milestone. She has NEVER expressed such feeling about anyone (except perhap me in recent months) nor has she seemed to care if people come or go out of her life. Even with this friend, who she sees at dance class and an occasional overnight, there doesn't seem to be thought of her in her absence. So we were stunned and thrilled that our daughter is possibly showing real and genuine attachments to people and even genuine sadness. In the 3+ years we have had her we can count the times we have seen this emotion from her on one hand! We didn't know whether to laugh or cry!

Friday, June 13, 2008

We have a house!

C. has been away since yesterday and we miss her terribly. Today she signed the papers on the new house so it is official. I guess we are moving after all! She also discovered that there are children who are the same age as Tortuga and Corazon right on the block so hopefully we won't encounter attitudes that will make their transition to the neighborhood more difficult. We have gotten comfortable in MA with the abundance of different kinds of families. The children don't censor their comments about having two moms. We will need to prepare them for (and help them make the adjustment to) the different viewpoints, assumptions, and attitudes they will encounter. C. shared the fact that at the closing the mortgage broker couldn't get past C's wedding ring and the fact that she had given birth to a baby last summer. She kept asking if C. had a husband and despite assurance that she didn't, the woman just couldn't seem to figure out or consider what the alternative might be. Since she didn't ask, C. didn't tell.

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